when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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