take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
