You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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