she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
