operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
