Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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