I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
