Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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