sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
