Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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