I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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