I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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