He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
