The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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