omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
