they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
