Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
