Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
