absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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