Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
