I seem to have left my pride at pride
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize