i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
