Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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