He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
why is half of my head shaved?
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