this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
