im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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