Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
