they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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