Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
