yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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