Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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