his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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