hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
