im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
