I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
