that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize