how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
