I hate all girls vehemently.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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