Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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