My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
