Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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