Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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