capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
