Your tits are I can't wait for
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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