Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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