have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
