He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
