Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
