...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize