im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
