I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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