didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
