I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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