I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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