I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
