I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
