I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
