Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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