Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
