some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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