this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That's how pantless uber rides happen
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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