I'm gonna have a badass scar
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
