you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
