after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
